It was a Friday night. Us boys, having been through an absolutely stressful week at High School, throwing spit wads, skipping class and generally harassing the girls (only the good-looking ones), were bored.
Now what would five onry, however well intentioned, critters like us do to spice up boredom on Friday night?
Answer, go park-busting. That is an activity that is accomplished by exercising the most absolute stealth. Stealth such as is found only in the most covert training courses, like green berets, CIA, etc. It involves first observing which loving couples are going where, sneaking up to their vehicle, giving them enough time to get, ahhhh let’s just say real cozy, then jumping up and yelling.
Obviously, the goal is to catch the amorous couple in a compromising embrace. This activity makes them mad, which, of course, is the true and purposeful objective.
Park-busting really provides only marginal fun, unless a wild car chase occurs. Once the compromised couple is compromised, if the interrupters will “run,” then the compromised individuals will give chase with their vehicle, and that’s the game.
On this particular evening, we had noticed a very attractive classmate and her beau headed to “lover’s lane.” Picking our observation overlook, we waited until windows steamed.
Now crawling thru mesquite bushes is not particularly fun, but just occasionally the effort provides riotous and endless stories later in life, along with a completely hilarious current event, and tonight was the night. This night we also brought a potato!
As we crawled and reached the rear of the car, the potato was ever so gently worked into the end of the tailpipe of the vehicle occupied by those about to be compromised. Next came the yelling and shaking of the car etc., then came the run back to our vehicle to wait until they could get their car started and give chase. Now the wait was a bit considerable as the potato interfered with the vehicles ability to start, but there was an additional plus.
Both occupants were completely without (you can figure it out.) Very unusually, the female had crawled over the back of the seat and was the driver instead of the guy. We discussed this among ourselves while waiting for them to start the car. It was his car. However, after talking about it, we remembered that it was the female in this particular couple that was the “A” personality, hmmmm.
Finally, their car started so off we went zooming down the highway, but since our car was much faster, we had to monitor our speed so as not to let them get to close but also to encourage the chase. It’s all very scientific and calculating, involving the application of sophisticated physics and motion stuff.
As we sped down the highway, we could see them change seats, the boy became the driver. Knowing who this guy was meant we had to slow down a bit. The girl dove in the back to don her…yup, stuff.
Now we were a group of highly intelligent, easily distracted and bored guys, so after about 15 minutes of chase, we lost interest. Once you lose interest in a chase, you have to “unhook” the car doing the chasing.
So off to escape route one we went. It was a really dusty road, poorly lighted, and a hard turn to the left. If you didn’t make the turn you ran right over the curb and wound up in the middle of a vacant field of thorn encrusted mesquite bushes.
You got it, going down the road I over spun the tires in order to raise more dust, then doused the lights made the turn, coasted over and watched our compromised victims barrel straight into the pasture.
Then we drove off to get a soda.